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The RPS Alternative Game Awards AwardsWe had this idea a month ago and I can prove it
We had this idea a month ago and I can prove it
I wasn’t on call last night, so I didn’t get to experience The Geoffies in their full, live glory, as God intended. But that doesn’t matter, because we’ve done our own awards, and who needs a live show with a smiley man in clean, clean trainers when you’ve got a list of the games and things in games that we liked for reasons too specific to get a category on stage? Also, none of them areElden Ring.
Remember,if anyone asks, I’ve got emails of us talking about this internally going backweeks. Why, I’ve been working on that title art alone for several days, at least!
CUTEST VERMIN:The Cycle: Frontier
This innocuous orange leaf-like creature is, in the lore of The Cycle: Frontier, treated as vermin. Which is a great shame, because they’re just about the only pleasant form of life on the planet. They won’t run from you or attack you, and you can’t harm them in any way either. They look a bit like if you took just the cranial crest of a parasaurolophus - one of my favourite dinos - and gave it a bunch of beady little eyes and two spindly legs to hop around on. That may sound nightmarish, but somehow they end up being really rather adorable. Finding a Leafman is a balm in an otherwise stress-filled match, and finding one that poofs out love hearts at your approach makes me feel that warm and cuddly “I’ve been chosen!” feeling of when a cat chooses you to jump up onto and snuggle down with.
BEST FOREARM DEFINITION:Gotham Knights
Ed:I didn’t likeGotham Knightsvery much. But one thing that blew me away was Red Hood’s forearm definition. Seriously, the size of them. There’s a scene where the man’s cutting carrots and the sheer force with which he cuts them is staggering.
STUPIDEST CAUSE OF DEATH:Cosmoteer: Starship Architect & Commander
GAME THAT REVEALED SOMETHING SHAMEFUL ABOUT MYSELF:Two Point Campus
Liam:I really likedTwo Point Campus, the latest management sim from Bullfrog alumni Two Point Studios. Like its hospital-based predecessor, the game is all about noodling around with rooms to keep your virtual peeps happy and fulfilled. And yet, despite the game’s relaxing vibe, Two Point Campus made me realise something that shook me to my very core, leading to a period of self reflection so personal I’m ashamed to even admit it. But I will. Because. Content, innit?
BEST GAME LIAM AND I PLAYED WHILE WAITING IN THE OVERWATCH 2 LOGIN QUEUE:Battleship
Ed:Whenever any online game launches with matchmaking, you can expect it to shit the bed almost immediately.Overwatch 2did precisely that when Liam and I tried to login and then quickly realised we were stuck in a queue with several thousand other people. So, in a vain effort to stem the agony, Liam sent me a link to a website which lets you play board games with people online. Honestly, the speed at which he did this felt to me like a reflexive action, sort of like delivering tired CPR to a gamer who’d collapsed at their keyboard. Had he done this before? Quite possibly.
There we were, just two lads waiting in a queue to play a game we didn’t really want to play… so we tried playing chess instead. But a bit heavy for us, was chess, so we forged onwards to Battleship! A game I’d somehow never played before! And there we were, having a proper giggle. Just like, clicking on random squares and going, “damn”, when the ship wasn’t positioned in that particular square but inanother one altogether(a thrill).
In the end I got into Overwatch 2 and I think Liam did too, but then after a while he disconnected. Battleships was good, though.
BEST USE OF A BUNCH OF BEES:I Commissioned Some Bees
BEST USE OF MY V-BUCKS IN FORNITE’S CURSED IN-GAME STORE:The Crab Dance
Noisestorm - Crab Rave [Monstercat Release]Watch on YouTube
Noisestorm - Crab Rave [Monstercat Release]
As I was feeling a little left out, I bought myself the “Crab Dance”, Fortnite’s unashamed rip of Crab Rave. This means that as Agent Peely (an anthropomorphic banana dressed as James Bond but with skinny fit trousers on) I can bust some moves like the internet’s favourite EDM colony. I am one of The Boys now and it rules.
BEST GAME WHERE IT’S POSSIBLE TO HAVE EVERY CHARACTER ON SCREEN BE BRUCE CAMPBELL:Evil Dead: The Game
For more of the latest news and trailers, check out ourGame Awards 2022hub. We also live-blogged the show as it happenedright here.
