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The 9 most extreme sports in gamesOne Off The List
One Off The List
Football. Tennis. Conkers. What do these historic, reputable sports have in common, I ask you. That’s correct, they are not extreme enough. Please, quiet now. I am here to do the talking. Yes, there are sports videogames, your FIFAs and your Mario Tennises. But they do not fulfill the desire within all of us for the extreme, the radical, the pushing of it to the max. I will now demonstrate, through force of listicle, the 9 most extreme sports in PC games, from bone-breaking snowboarders to motorcycleWipeout. And you, in your turn, shall be thankful to this website for providing such diversion. Now, read.
Bone-breaking contest -Steep
Murder ball -Blood Bowl II
Gladiator tournaments -Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord
Chocobo racing -Final Fantasy VII
This is a joke entry, please ignore.
Competitive car crashing -Burnout Paradise
The“showtime”mode of open world racerBurnout Paradiselets you flip a switch at any given moment and start a vehicular somersault worthy ofBollywood action movies. It is the absurd crash mode of previous Burnouts applied to whichever crossroads or highway you desire, granting you magical post-smash control over the physics of your vehicle, leading to comically long tumbles along lanes of oncoming traffic. Every crushed limousine and pulverised bus grants more points in “damage caused” and simultaneously charges a boost bar, pumping yet more energy into your seemingly perpetual cascade of steel. All in the hopes of besting other players’ scores on that stretch of city road. You say: this is final proof that humanity’s childish urge to compete is fundamentally self-destructive. I say: red car go smash.
Total Wipeout biking -Trials Rising
You know thatold TV showthat dispatched random hairdressers across an obstacle course of pain coated deceptively in foam? There are people whomake that in Trials games.
The entire battle royale genre
The genre of mayhem we continue to describe as battle royale and not simply “deathmatch but bigger” has pummeled humanity into submission in the last few years, yet this should not come as a shock. The real surprise is that it took so long for the corporate chieftains of our industry to bring the horrific realm of videogames to its logical conclusion. To be thrust onto an island with 99 unstable murderers and only your wits to guide you is such a stroke of simplistic psychopathy it is a wonder this virtual bloodsport did not happen sooner. Man truly is the most dangerous game, but Fortnite is a close second.
Car football -Rocket League
Wow!What a save!What a save!What a save!
The extreme thing aboutRocket Leagueis not the flying cars, calculated tackles, or ball entering the goal with the explosive force of a nuclear blast. It is the passive aggressive quick chat.
Iron Fist Tournament -Tekken 7
I mean, you could put any fighting game here, couldn’t you? Injustice sees Batman lifting his enemies into the stratosphere and shooting them with a jet plane. Dragonball FighterZ contains characters who can fire thick sapphire beams of energy through your head. Mortal Kombat is… well, you know. But listen here. Only the fist-fuelled tourney in Tekken’s dumbstruck world of criss-crossing flash-motives regularly sees you going tête-à-tête with a literal panda. And that is extreme. They’re endangered.
One Off The List from… the deadliest sharks
Last week we dove into a tank ofthe 9 deadliest sharks in videogames. None of them bit us, because in reality sharks are not that aggressive to humans. Still, you list goblins chose to oust one of these maltreated animals. It’s…the goblin shark.
You heard him, ugly. There’s only room for one sort of goblin in this regular feature, and that’s list goblins. Get out. The rest of you? Until next week.
