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The 10 best cats in gamesA cat is not a dog
A cat is not a dog
The house cat.Felis destructus.Humankind’s absolute best mate and undisputed master. Some upcoming video games are planning to examine the motives behind these enigmatic creatures, whose origins remain unknown.Straywill put you in the paws of a street cat finding their way home in a cyberpunk city.Little Kitty Big Citywill see you wearing the whiskers of a cat less concerned with going home than it is with wreaking urban havoc. But what if you don’t want to wait for these games? Well, you have options. Here are 10 of the best cats in PC games.
Little Kitty, Big City - Teaser TrailerWatch on YouTube
Little Kitty, Big City - Teaser Trailer
Cat Café -Yakuza 6
Having successfully father-figured approximately 95% of humans in Japan, notorious setter-to-rights Kiryu Kazuma can become the loving adopter of many cats. You find them in the street, give them the finest cans of tuna, and call the manager of a cat café to come collect them. You can then visit the café and indulge in some classicYakuzaside story dialogue, such asthis important conversationwith your new wards. Then, when you sit down, they climb on you. Blessed existence, blessed life.
Sweet Shalquoir -Dark Souls 2
Dark Souls 2 - Sweet Shalquoir :3Watch on YouTube
Dark Souls 2 - Sweet Shalquoir :3
Nekaroo -Edge Of Eternity
A twin-tailed, horse-sized, feather-eared feline. Evolution is poorer for having never thought of this.
Khajiit -The Elder Scrolls
Cats are people, I am always telling you, and you never listen. The Khajiit, a playable race of light-footed fuzzfolk, talk commonly in third-person and travel widely. They cannot get enough of drugs. In the history of Elder Scrolls, they are one of the few remaining “beast people”, who were hanging out long before humans, dwarves and elves. But then they got enslaved, pushed around, pigeonholed into a nomadic mercantile class, or disregarded as common criminals. I play as Khajiit in every Elder Scrolls and will not be happy until Bethesda set an entire game in their homeland of Elsweyr, where I will hunt mer and men for sport.
Palicoes -Monster Hunter: World
Not only do these cats refrain from clambering on the table, trying to swipe your prawns, but they are the ones who actually cook the prawns. They drench the prawns in sumptuous sauce, and serve it to you with a smile. This is unnatural behaviour for a cat, but… mmm… I am willing to disregard it.
Daffodil -Spiritfarer
Ship’s cat -Sea Of Thieves
Slugcat -Rain World
When cats are playable in games, they often exist in the built environments of their wretched human masters. In Rain World, your nimble creature inhabits a world in which those foul opposably thumbed beings are long gone. That’s great. However, it also means you have to find your own food. And open your own doors. And fight your own giant lizards. And spear huge, deadly vultures. And wear the skull of said vulture as a mask to scare away the aforementioned lizards. Just everyday cat stuff.
Jaguar -Shadow Of The Tomb Raider
We are sad to report that the unnamed jaguar who attempted to kill and eat explorer Lara Croft has died. A service will be held in its memory.
Mae -Night In The Woods
Image credit:Finji
Cat-person and self-described trash fire Mae is also, in an unsettling twist, a cat owner. She is a bipedal, talking, 20-something moggy who also happens to have a normal, traditional house cat as a pet. Night In The Woods is sometimes described with a hollow and nebulous descriptor as “evocative”. But what does it evoke? I shall tell you. It evokes fear, it evokes unease. A cat-woman who owns a cat-cat? I am not the first to completely ignore actually important critical thinking concerning this game’s story to ask why trad-cats exist in the anti-anthropocene world of Mae’s hometown. I shall not be the last.
One Off The List from… the best AI in games
Last time we booted up the computer and asked it to compile a list ofthe best AI in PC games. But one of these robotic intelligences needs to be shut down. It’s…the xenomorph of Alien Isolation.
“The Alien AI in Isolation works right up until the moment you see through it,” said xeno-denouncer ‘Robo God’ in an impassioned tirade completely contrary to my own beliefs. “When you see how extraordinarily simplistic it is, working to a little schedule of when to appear and for how long, it stops being in any way scary and becomes a bit of a chore, like having to deal with an animatronic doorman.”
I will allow such a cross-examination. This time.
