HomeFeaturesCook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Playing Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?! with a broken keyboard is the most stressful thing I have ever donePress ' ' to pay respects
Press ' ' to pay respects
I, like us all, have experienced times of acute stress in my life. I’ve had to retake all my A-levels, gotten a divorce, and undergone abdominal surgery that it took a month to recover from. I couldn’t open doors or sneeze without being in pain.
None of this comes close to the experience of playingCook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!with a broken keyboard.
Watch on YouTube
Watch on YouTube
Unfortunately this weekend I, not known for having all my shit working at the best of times, decided to clean an ungodly amount of foetid fluff, crisp crumbs, and general unspecifiedmatterofrom my keyboard. I don’t want to get into it too much, but stuff happened, things were dropped, and tiny bits of plastic were pinged off into corners. Now I have broken my F and R keys, as well as a good deal of the punctuation and the right shift key. I cannot pay my respects. I can’t even spell ‘respects’ without difficulty.
This makes playingCook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!very difficult. The margins of tolerance become ridiculously slim, to the point where losing a fraction of a second can spell disaster across the whole board. As a result, I pick my menus based not on which items are the nicest (the CSD series is well-known for how beautiful and appetising its illustrations of foodstuffs are), or whether or not it makes sense to have soup and spaghetti - which both take a while to prep - on the same slate, but whether or not the recipes in question have a ucking ' ' in them.
On one of the early levels you have to create, like, a spring menu, and I put in French toast as I expected it to avoid using F, because bread is some other stupid letter like B or D or something. This was not the case. I didn’t take any screens at the time because I was too busy furiously mashing my keys, so here is one from the practise mode, taken after I spectacularly failed the level in question:
Before I went under general anaesthetic for my surgery, I had an epidural to lessen the pain when I woke up. I suddenly stopped being able to move my legs. When I woke up, I still couldn’t move my legs and also it hurta lot. A nurse injected me with a load of morphine, and then, while I was thus 1) a captive audience and 2) extremely high, described how she had looked in on my surgery and seen my actual intestines, external to my body and moving around like snakes.
The feeling of strange, impotent panic I felt in that moment of time was nothing next to the feeling of staring at a wall of orders of dumplings that all needed an F to fold. Each slipping away to nothing as I took an extra one-point-oh-two seconds to make the fold. Bastards.
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?! is very good, and is out now onSteam,GOGandHumblefor £11.40/$15/€12.50.
