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Loddlenaut review: a cute, but simple ocean clean-up adventureA low pressure cleanse
A low pressure cleanse
Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Secret Mode
Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Secret Mode

The ocean planet of GUP-14 is not a happy place. Its seabed has been gunked up with piles of trash, globs of purple gunge and nasty clouds of micro-plastics, all because an industrial megacorp couldn’t be bothered to clean up after themselves after bleeding it for resources. That megacorp’s since upped sticks to, sadly, continue their terrible ways somewhere else in the solar system, but calling out these bad practices (beyond them being obviously bad and not good for the planet) is not reallyLoddlenaut’s concern here.
Rather, your job is to simply clean up this mess with your array of high-tech gadgetry, healing its polluted environments so: a) it’s not a grim, purple hellscape anymore; b) native, axolotl-like loddle creatures can move back in and prosper. It’s simple, satisfying work that’s designed to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside without having to think too hard. But its straightforward, frictionless tale may leave some wishing it had just a little more bite, and less of a sense that you’re laying the ground for some other faceless corpo power to go and splurge all over it again.
Loddles will evolve into different forms based on the food they eat. |Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Secret Mode

Over the course of its five to six hour run-time, you gradually settle into a gentle loop of cleaning and returning to your home base to recycle. Everything has a pleasing sense of tactility to it as well, especially for those playing with a rumble-enabled game pad. Your diver’s laser arm will thrum with activity as it automatically seeks out the nearest blobs it can purge, for exmaple - provided you manoeuvre him close enough to the offending spots, that is - and watching its clouds of microplastics allzhoominto the gaping mouth of your vacuum will have physics-likers squealing with admiration. It’s always clear what you’re meant to be doing, too. Your surface-side operator pal will keep you updated on your progress, letting you know when it’s safe for loddles to start moving back into each environment, and whether you’re correctly equipped to face the obstacles in front of you. He mostly leaves you alone to get on with your work, but it’s nice to know he’s there like a big, catch-all safety net if you get happen to forget what you need or where you’re heading.
Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Secret Mode


Over time, you’ll unlock new tools to tackle new threats, and all of them have a wonderful sense of tactility to them. |Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Secret Mode


The loddles themselves need a little bit of attention every now and then, but apart from cleaning them so they don’t instantly undo all your hard work, you could also feasibly ignore them for the rest of the game and be perfectly fine. They can’t die, even though they’re regularlystarvingand intensely sad when you ‘check up’ on them, and really, if they can’t sustain themselves on the abundantly clean and fertile plants I’ve spruced up for them without constant supervision and hand-feeding, then maybe it’s their own fault they got gooped in the first place. Honestly. They are very cute, though, and the way they follow you around, boop beach balls you make for them, and mirror the pings and pongs of your helmet headlights with little tunes of their own making all help endear them to you so you don’t just abandon them with a cold-hearted grumble. They’re very characterful, and returning to an area to see new species and evolutions of their initial blob forms is always a charming, low-key delight.
And yet.
As much as Loddlenaut wants to be a chill, cosy game that’s all happy thoughts and cute little critters, I also couldn’t help but feel like my cleaning work was sort of all for nothing in the end. Aside from the fact that the corporation you’re cleaning up after clearlyisdoing all this polluting somewhere else in the galaxy (based on story snippets pieced together from lost employee badges that have also been discarded along with all their other junk in this place), the ocean itself will continually drift in other pieces of wayward trash when you’re off cleaning elsewhere, gradually eating away at your completion rating on each of its five main areas. It doesn’t matter how diligent you are either within the area itself, or in its connecting gullies and oceanic corridors. The trash will just keep on coming, and the loddles will continue to suffer for it.
I know the feeling, pal. |Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Secret Mode

Perhaps this sense of inevitability is intentional and I’m worrying over nothing. For example, when you eventually leave GUP-14, you’re told that you’ve done what you can, and that the planet can heal on its own now. But I also have zero confidence in that assertion based on just how quickly these areas seem to degrade when I’m not looking. I should stress: it’s not like they’ll drop from a perfect 100% back down to a 20% danger zone in the space of 15 minutes or anything. It’s a much slower, more gradual process than that, and I never saw any of my fully cleaned areas drop below 90% throughout my playthrough. But even this quote minor degradation began to nibble away at me over time. The rating might not be that low, but the accumulation of trash felt more severe in the collecting of it, and the deep, dire purples of their previous doom state would return to make things extra gloomy. I’d give each area a little spruce as I passed through it, but the gunk still came, and the loddles still got gooped - and when the loddles get gooped, the plants do, too, making these once pristine environment feel even more of an eyesore.
It’s not a nice feeling knowing that even your best efforts won’t ever be good enough to get rid of this stuff for good, and when at one point my blasé pal on the radio merely responded with a, “Well, at least all this bad stuff means we get to have a job,” it was hard not to sigh at the futility of it all (and in the game, etc). Perhaps it’s unfair to take Loddlenaut to task over this, but there’s a disconnect between its happy-go-lucky cosiness and the fact that, no, this shouldn’t be okay, I want some chuffing justice for these creatures, goddamnit, and for the spineless lackeys at Guppi to be taken to task for endangering these patently adorable little blob fish and ruining an entire planet for the sake of corporate greed. Games with such a strong environmental theme shouldn’t just stop at ‘switch-off-brain-and-have-a-good-time’. Personally, I think they should demand more of us, and to the developers' credit, they are, in fact,donating a portion of each individual game salefor the next three years to UK charity Whale And Dolphin Conservation. That’s incredible! Amazing! You love to see it! But I do wish it was also more rigorous on this front in the game itself and less complacent in the way it frames its narrative.
Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Secret Mode

As I said, I’m well aware there’s some personal planet fretting starting to creep in here, so I will summarise my thoughts thusly: Loddlenaut is a cute, cosy and charming adventure in all the ways you’d expect it to be. The process of powerwashing this idyllic ocean floor is chill and zen-like, and if you’re the type to coo over adorable nuggets of animal, then its little loddles will be right up your street. But it will never be anything more than that. It will not challenge you in the slightest, and it probably won’t make you feel anything particularly profound, either - and for some people that will be absolutely fine. For me, GUP-14 felt like a marginally happier place once I’d worked my magic there, but I wish it had a bit more grit in its own convictions.