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I let the RPS Minecraft server go feral: a gallery"The mince is hollow, like a scotch egg."
“The mince is hollow, like a scotch egg.”
Once we’re assembled, I lead us in a grand jump off the ship’s edge, aiming for the huge green structure on the town’s outskirts - a bouncy castle, on which we boing happily for a while, before heading out into the multicoloured nightmare of the place that was once our home.
This statue now marks the site of our first founding, visible for miles around. It’s a statue of Shrek, Atlas-like, supporting Bane off of Batman, who is holding a beacon of green light that goes all the way to space. Signs all over the place warn of an impending event called “Mincemas”, which I suspect may be something to do with the burning Christmas tree made of meat in the bottom left here. Oh, and see the chicken perched on the dragon’s head? Optical illusion. That’s a titanic statue of a chicken on a distant hill.
As a bee glides past in the dusk, I notice that the huge green present on Bane’s platform has a note on it, addressed to “PHARAOH” - was this my… Mincemas gift? The note goes on to tell me that “Mincey claws has laid a eg for Pharaoh… from him bum”. Somewhat anxiously, I bash open the side of the parcel, to reveal… mince (that is the server’s name forNetherrack, apparently, due to its texture). The mince is hollow, like a scotch egg. One of my companions idly recalls that “there were polar bears in there once… until the accident”. I don’t ask about the accident.
A moment of melancholy, as a bee looks out at me from its prison in the glass dome of the old cartographers' guild. Is the bee a cartographer now?
Exploring the ruins, we find a “design museum”, where surfaces of dozens of block types have been laid out, along with helpful signs annotating their properties. It’s like a sort of Grand Designs version of a wiki, and I like it a lot.
Breaking our way into the caverns beneath the city through a built-over minecart track, we find the old underground town that I and my friends built, long before even the madness of Shrek worship overtook the world. Sealed away beneath the strangeness above ground, it is a peaceful, time capsule of a place.
That is, until we find the Bone Room. Clearly, someone else has been squatting here, and their sense of decor has a dark energy to it. We make a hasty exit for the aboveground, lest they return.
Before leaving the town, there’s just time for a poignant visit to Sin’s original hovel, preserved beneath glass in the “museum of the way we used to live”.
Here’s the ruins of the starting settlement in full - you can see the case around Sin’s hovel right in the middle there. It’s nice to see some things are still sacred. As we reflect on the passage of time, we gather our party, replenish our supplies from the many, many abandoned chests in the old town, and prepare to move North. From here on, warns one of my companions who has kept an eye on the server through the winter, things get strange.
Butnothingwill prepare me forThomas The Tank Engine’s Arse.
To be continued.
