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A monstrous state of affairs: here are 4 horror-themed dating sims from 2022Games that make you mate the monster
Games that make you mate the monster
Look, it’s all well and good wanting to get scared on Halloween or whatever. But some of us live thehorrorlife every day of the year. We seek out spooks even in the heat of summer, and know there’s no better mid-winter warmer than a good ghost story. So what are we to do to make this occasion still feel special?
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I’ll be honest that 2022 hasn’t been a stellar year for most game genres I’m into, but horror-themed dating sims are a notable exception. I’ve played four brand-new ones this year alone and, while I did consider branching this list out into more historical examples, I thought: why not focus on what a good run we’ve had recently? This is less a list of recommendations than a round-up of the year in monsterfucking, and as such, there are some games on here I personally liked less than others. What I’ve put together for you are some raw thoughts, many of them outtakes from reviews I’ve written throughout the year, and I’ve tried to avoid repeating myself on the subject of games I’ve talked about before.
The goal, dear reader, is to help you find the monstrous abomination who’s right foryou. So dig out your best first-date ensemble that won’t show the bloodstains for this round-up of the year’s most monstrous romance games.
Monster Prom 3: Monster Roadtrip
The minds behindMonster Promcertainly aren’t afraid of branching out and trying new things. This year’s entry into the series —Monster Prom 3: Monster Roadtrip— isn’t even a dating sim at all any more, really. It’s asurvival gamewith dating elements, and plans for the future of the franchise show a similar desire to play with new genres, while keeping the characters and comedy as the points of continuity. The success of the Kickstarter campaign for the sequels suggests that it was a good move to trust the original game’s audience to embrace such changes to the formula.
At the start, Monster Prom quite straightforwardly stated that any monster could date any monster without concern for the gender presentation of either party. But later DLCs and sequels have taken the opportunity to tell trans and aspec stories that might traditionally fall outside the remit of a dating sim, pulling the focus away from romance if that’s what it takes to give a character their due. And they do it without the frustrating reliance on monsterhood as a metaphor for minority status, something I see in too many stories trying to play it safe. For example, it’s been made increasingly clear over time that Zoe is both a trans womanandan eldritch god adjusting to life among mortals. Those situations often find parallels in each other, but both are given individual weight and significance in her story.
But the series' best feature remains its willingness to regularly look sideways at its own premise, resulting in something far more in-depth than a simple put-gifts-in, get-love-out dating sim equation. It’s a story about horny monsters that’s increasingly concerned with the importance of friendship and self-acceptance as well; and if you happen to see a beautiful buff demon wearing very little clothing at the end, well, that’s just a delightful bonus.
Sucker For Love: First Date
Ireviewed Sucker For Lovewhen it came out back in January, but what I didn’t go into in much depth at the time was the fact that its protagonist (“D”) is just as outstanding a character as the game’s “three” “dateable” “girls”. Sucker For Love is both a fully-functioning monster dating sim and a knife-sharp parody of the genre that descends into survival horror in its final act. So, while it’s very rare for a game like this to force you to play as a male character, you’d better believe that said male character will be a brutal deconstruction of his harem-building anime boy predecessors.
It’s not that “D” is a jerk. It’s that he’s an idiot. And so are you, for letting that curvaceous Cthulhu lady on the key art drag you into playing this game. She’s got face tentacles, for fuck’s sake! What did any of us think was going to happen?
Romancelvania
Romancelvaniais an upcoming ’90s-inspired sidescroller with dating sim elements, and regular readers may recall that I recentlyreviewed its demo from October’s Steam Next Fest. The final release will feature 12 suitors vying to win the affection of a lovelorn Dracula via a reality TV-style dating show. And what a line-up Drac has to choose from.
It’s an obvious point, but one I really want to make: any game that lets you date the monster needs to ensure that its monsters are hot. What makes Romancelvania stand out — even in comparison to an established and wide-reaching series like Monster Prom — is the sheer willingness to try and include a romantic option to suit any and all tastes. And I mean any.
The makers of Monster Prom have made an effort to include more body type diversity in their more recent games, particularly among their female characters: action towards self-improvement that I feel should be applauded. They’ve branched out into more unusual, less humanoid designs for their side-characters, too.
But Romancelvania will be galloping out of the gate with - among a few slightly more conventionally attractive choices - one love interest who is a severed gorgon head atop a marble statue; another who’s a Cthulhu-in-a-dress but nevertheless far less humanised than lovely Ln’eta; and one who’s made entirely of pumpkins. Seriously. Her decolletage alone can trigger a serious case of body horror heebie-jeebies. And yet I’d bet my bottom dollar that that overripe orange bosom is exactly what someone out there has been searching for in vain up until now.
Since I have the honour to get in the last word onRPS’s spooky seasoncoverage this year, here are my concluding remarks:
Happy Halloween, monsterfuckers!
